紅蓮

                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
一切否認deny everthing
                                                                               
永不相信trust nothing
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
麥克 我的好朋友 男性 26歲 異性戀者 低收入戶 痛恨抽煙 擁有堅定不移的減肥信念
                                                                               
遭逢到有生以來最嚴重的挑戰challenge 威脅menace 恐懼horrification 恐慌panic
                                                                               
以及史無前例的特殊情愫susceptibility
                                                                               
我望著他的臉 那張逐漸因為痛苦而逐漸扭曲 變形 糾結 黑一陣白一陣 忽紅忽青
                                                                               
五顏六色油汗不分凹凸不平坑坑洞洞的末日月球臉
                                                                               
心中感到無限的不捨與慶幸
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
我: 你 有看過花樣年華嗎?
                                                                               
麥: 嗯...我喜歡張曼玉的旗袍
                                                                               
我: 那 應該會去看2046吧
                                                                               
麥: 喔 沒錢沒閒 王家衛大導演的片子並不是讓人感到那麼的急迫...
                                                                               
我: 這不成 你該去看的
                                                                               
麥: why?
                                                                               
我: 有好無壞 發人深省 而且可以找個伴去看 你可以牽著對方的手看
                                                                               
麥: 最好有正妹啦
                                                                               
我: 如果他抽煙能夠像梁朝偉抽的那麼帥的話 我想我可以考慮轉變性向
                                                                               
麥: No Smoking!
                                                                               
我: 這只是個比方 每個人都會有缺點跟優點的 不要因人廢言
                                                                               
麥: 你想說什麼?
                                                                               
我: 你拒絕他了嗎?
                                                                               
麥: ...
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
後來他緩緩的站了起來 悶不吭聲的往窗戶走去
                                                                               
我一度有"你要跳的話先把窗戶打開喔還有紗門小心剛裝冷氣機小心不要ㄎㄟˊ到"
                                                                               
的無恥念頭
                                                                               
一瞬間我反省了 我不能這樣子想
                                                                               
"他要是跳了我八輩子洗不清這錯綜複雜的男男嫌疑"
                                                                               
因此我開口了
                                                                               
我: 泡杯咖啡給你喝好嗎 加奶粉喔 特製卡布其諾 免費
                                                                               
麥: ...你知道的 我交過幾個女朋友?
                                                                               
我: 嗯...加加減減 四個...不 五個?
                                                                               
麥: 正確講是六個 戀情總是無疾而終 我也老是不知道為什麼
                                                                               
我: 因緣和合 因緣際會 因緣來來去去 因緣生生不息...
                                                                               
麥: 難道 我的感覺錯了?
                                                                               
我: 啊...?
                                                                               
麥: 這學弟 坦白說 我還挺喜歡他的 喜歡他的笑容 還有說話的方式
                                                                               
我: 移情作用嗎?
                                                                               
麥: 就只差不能生小孩了
                                                                               
我: 太快了吧?
                                                                               
麥: 我想組織一個家庭
                                                                               
我: ...總是有很多例子的 你可以循著以前人的路子走
                                                                               
麥: 當我前天在電視上看到他勇敢走上街頭的模樣 我是很感動的
                                                                               
我: 你不要跟我講你現在要出櫃了?
                                                                               
麥: 難怪我跟你這麼熟
                                                                               
我: 我的天 你發燒了嗎? 我泡冰咖啡給你喝好嗎? 加冰塊 免費
                                                                               
麥: 我以為同性之間只會有兄弟之情 想不到這種感覺越來越強烈
                                                                               
我: 什麼感覺?
                                                                               
麥: 就是那種 感動到會發抖 畏懼到發抖 害怕欣喜到發抖 緊張到說不出話來的感覺
                                                                               
我: 我想你找到自己了
                                                                               
麥: 你會接受我嗎?
                                                                               
我: 難不成要你跳下去?
                                                                               
麥: 好朋友 來 親一個
                                                                               
我: 你去死!!!
                                                                               
麥: 我想我終於知道我夢境中老是出現某些人物的原因了
                                                                               
我: 那是很好的 勇敢追求自己的夢 小心不要跌倒
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
麥克 我的好朋友 同性戀者 低收入戶 痛恨抽煙 堅定不移的死忠減肥者
                                                                               
宛如夢境一般 他在我的夢境中 出櫃了
                                                                               
難不成 要逼他走上絕路嗎
                                                                               
不管接不接受 總是手足同胞
                                                                               
沙文主義者 總是不斷的沙文自己